NICOLE
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Catherine
ENTRY 1
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Microsystem
Growing up in the province of Isabela and more particularly my small hometown in San Mateo, I became accustomed to a tight-knit household. Being the oldest of four siblings, I’ve always maintained the role of some sort of a leader or someone who takes charge and sets up an example to my younger siblings. More so, I grew up in the company of the familiar faces, my friends, whom I knew ever since I was a child in kindergarten.
Mesosystem
In addition to that, I maintain a very close bond with both my maternal and paternal grandparents which was mainly influenced by the warm relationship and constant reunions my grandparents and parents have. Furthermore, my parents remain to be accepting of my peer groups and would often encourage me to be understanding of people who come from different backgrounds. On the other hand, my parents maintain a professional relationship with my teachers whom I consider as my mentors; as to which their meetings are mostly limited to parent-teacher conferences.
my version of bronfenbrenner's biological system
For further clarification: Blue corresponds to Microsystem, Orange corresponds to Mesosystem, Pink correspongds to Exosystem, and Green corresponds to Macrosystem
Exosystem
Coming from a family who is mostly centered in either the business or medical field, I have always been inclined to pursue either, with a disposition to the latter. My family also practice Christianity, of which the fondest memory I have is the accompanying lunch or dinner after Sunday mass.
Macrosystem
In conjunction with, as a part of two minorities or marginalized groups—being a female and being a citizen of a third-world Asian country and more specifically an isolated region in said country; there are some things that are ingrained or made to be a stigma that would often times affect how I am perceived or how I react to certain issues. However, even though I stated that I am part of two minority groups, it is also true that I came from privilege and I try as much as I can to use that privilege as a platform to be of service to the marginalized.
disclaimer
Although most of the images are mine, some of the images used especially those of in exosystem and macrosystem were gotten from the Internet, I do not own any of the images and all ownership and credit belongs to the websites I've attained said images from.
ENTRY 2
As evident in the illustration above, the local aspects I have are mostly subject to qualities I have been born with and grew up to. My examples include my how I like my food, how my family is wired, how my hometown has influenced not only my linguistic abilities but also how I view different societal issues. It may seem ironic or strange that whilst I was born a Filipina, the tastes or preferences that I have developed throughout the years have been internationally inclined. Thus, it seems as though my knowledge of international pop culture and such overpowers that of the local.
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Moreover, it has come to my attention that even if I grew up in the Philippines most of my life, decades after colonisers have come ashore, the presence of colonial mentality still seem to manifest. Growing up thinking that our own culture seems inferior to eurocentric or caucasian culture, I have found myself preferring most things just because they're foreign. Whilst I am naturally interested in cultural diversity, I acknowledge that my knowledge of my own culture is lacking. However bad this may sound, I believe that this is the first step to change, by acknowledging my loob and what I need to improve on. It may be the peak of globalisation but I believe that for us to fully participate in a global scale, we must first acknowledge our own local identity.
ENTRY 3
Whilst it is true that globalisation is janus-faced, I believe that by acknowledging its downsides and using it pros to advocate against it; we are not forsaking our cultural identity to globally incline ourselves. Here is what I believe my janus face on my hybrid identity looks like.
ENTRY 4
Differentiating my nature vs nurture aspects proved to be difficult as I realized that most ofthem overlap and intersect. It is evident that most of my loob aspect include traits I’ve been born with or are already inherently present within me. Meanwhile, my labas aspect includes traits and characteristics I’ve generated and developed as I came upon different challenges and milestones. While these charactersistics are in “ different” aspects, I believe that they always tend to overlap and affect each other.
ENTRY 5
As evident from the infographic above, it is evident that most of my fears have come from past trauma. I can infer that my experiences have played a big role as to how I perceive certain objects and situations now. I believe that having these fears, although it might seem odd, is necessary. I believe that these are challenges and limitations I have yet to soldier on or if not accept and use it as a fuel for self growth.
I believe everyone is on the pursuit for happiness and contentment. From the infographic above, I believe that while these are the things that make me happy, it is also the things that I strive through hardships for. As the saying goes, "difficult roads lead to beautiful destinations."
ENTRY 6
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A REACTION PAPER ON GOYO
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General Goyo was no Wonder Woman. Growing up and having an inclination towards superhero comics, stories on war heroes, and history in general, the movie piqued my interest. Having had watched the first movie, Heneral Luna, my excitement for the movie grew as I believed the aforementioned to be an interesting and fresh perspective as to how we view not only history but the heroes in it.
I must admit that I had high hopes for the movie especially with the added appeal of a swoon worthy main character. The movie portrays Goyo as an esteemed captain, renowned for his youth, bravery, and war tactics. Moreover, it showed his more personal side, a brother to people more than his bloodline, a charismatic playboy notorious for breaking hearts, but most of all a soldier haunted by his past and just as vulnerable as anyone.
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The movie stripped off the shiny and invincible stigma we have of our heroes. Instead, it showed us their raw emotions, and their being human. The movie showed that there is more to being a hero than won battles, glorious victories, or conquered land and enemies. Rather it involves a whole lot of internal struggle, unfair sacrifices, and decisions that can’t really be logically explained. It showed us that heroship is not just fighting and dying. It showed us how honor, desire, and loyalties can manipulate the most prestigious general into a puppeteer of the enemy. Most of all, it showed us that history no matter how long it may have been, plays as much part in the present as the future does.
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The story of the past must be spun and told as generations progress. This is so that we know where our roots come from, but most importantly so that we can learn from those mistakes and spin a better story in the future than the one we listen to from the past. “Goyo was not the hero we wanted, but the hero we need.” In times like today, we must learn that there are leaders and there are idols. It is up to us to distinguish which is which.
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I believe that we possess a closer relationship to our past because it continues to influence the present we have today. The way we act, we talk, and the simple fact that we are living in a free country that is progressing speaks more volume as to how the past has primed the present for us today. In this way, we are to take the reins and be the heroes we read about. No need for war battles or titles, the time for that is over. We are the writers of the present, and it is up to us to step up to be the heroes.
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Goyo was no Wonder Woman, and that’s okay. No, he did not have superhuman strength, a lasso of truth, shoes that give him flight, nor an Amazonian warrior bloodline. He did not need any of that to be the hero he was and is now remembered as today.
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ENTRY 7
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The inspiration as to why I chose these three characters as my persona for the id, ego, and superego is inspired by a fanfiction I've read on what would happen if LOTR was analyzed using Freudian psychology. All credits go to the author for the essay posted below: https://www.fanfiction.net/s/1012202/1/What-if-Freud-analyzed-LOTR
In my version however, I made Gollum Id as he represents someone who is driven by desire. Samwise Gamgee as the Superego because he remains true to himself even when temptation is abundant. Lastly, I chose Frodo Baggins as the Ego because he is constantly influenced by the two.
WHAT WOULD YOU DO?
Your younger sister borrowed the dress you were supposed to wear for your recital without permission. What would you do?
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Extract revenge. yessss. Take her favourite dress and hide it forever. Precioussss dress. Gollum wants. Make her feel what you felt!
Talk to your sister about it but at the same time come up of a clever way to teach her a lesson. No revenge or hateful reaction.
Understand that you are the older sibling and must set an example. Act with grace and poise, and approach the situation calmly.
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Internet trolls left harmful and hateful comments on a political post you shared. What would you do?
Talk to your sister about it but at the same time come up of a clever way to teach her a lesson. No revenge or hateful reaction.
Gollum fights fire with fire! Attack them with arguments like ad hominem. Make sure they know how worthless they and their opinions are and how much better you are than them.
Acknowledge the internet trolls and respond intellectually, arguing smartly and attacking their arguments instead of their persona
Understand that Internet trolls get more satisfaction if you respond and decide not to do anything about the internet trolls because arguing with close minded people will lead you nowhere.
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As the great Chinese philiosopher, Confucius once said, "do all things in moderation". I believe that this is the key to reaching a healthy yin and yang between the id, ego, and superego. There will come times wherein one would outweigh the other and the lines between these would often be blurred out. When times like these occur, it is best to stop and think for a while. What choice would benefit you the most? Which of the three would leave you with the least regret? In conclusion, do all things with moderation and try to factor in what all of the three have to say. If you can't satisfy all three, then satisfy the one that would satisfy not only your experiencing self but also your remembering self.
ENTRY 7
From the times I've spent my summers in New Zealand, not only have I been immersed with the people of the place but also with their interesting culture. In this blog post, I will be using various Maori symbols to encapsulate my stages of development.
Photo taken at the reserve we stayed in in Cape Reinga, the northern tip of New Zealand.
WHY MAORI?
"Maori culture has historically been oral. This means they had no written language to pass on cultural heritage.
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As a result carvings and other art forms flourished as a means to pass on ancestry, major historic events, beliefs, legends, and other cultural elements.
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Even upon today the designs and their symbolism still tell the wonderful Maori tales. That’s why Maori symbols form such a substantial part of the national Maori identity and culture.
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The elaborate artistic traditions of the Maori have in common that most, if not all, make use of these Maori symbols. Some of the most well known symbols or designs are the tiki, twist and koru but there are lots more.
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Since the Maori had such a vivid spiritual and metaphysical culture many are still interested in the meaning of their symbolism. The Maori connectedness with nature, astronomy, and spirituality makes these expressions even in modern day very appealing." Available from http://www.tuarangi.com/meaning-of-maori-symbols-and-designs/
In my personal aspect, as a dormer and a freshman in uni, I see myself in the prospect of emerging adulthood. I believe that by leaving the nest, and trying to keep myself alive in the metro but at the same time relying still on my parents for financial support gives me a taste of independence but at the same time still grounds me on the safety and confines of home and dependency I get from my parents. I believe that even though I fully rely on myself to do daily things such as get myself food, do “chores”, study, and more; at the end of the day none of that would be possible if it were not for my parent’s support. In that sense, I can say that I am a teenage girl trying to live in an adult world, in short I consider myself as an emerging adult. However, in Erikson's definition, I see myself in the identity vs role confusion stage. Having have had picked my pre-med course, I feel as though I am still haunted by my doubts as to who I really want to become. With the prospect of self-betterment aside, I believe that pursuing my course at the moment has been a gap filler, or an immediate answer so that I won't be "lost" and thus have a safe path to follow.
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I've always been confused if I really am the person I am today or if I'm just a person doing what is expected of her, doing what will please the people she holds dear. Sometimes I'd think, Do I do this to make myself happy, or to make the people around me happy?
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I guess I can say that I am in an essential part of identity formation. I am at that point where I'm still trying out the seas, looking for what fits. Even though I may be considered lost, it still holds true me that being lost is necessary for you to take the wheel and venture your way through the path that is your self-identity.
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This is the koru. "Koru is the Maori word for “bight” or “loop” and refers to new shoots of the silver fern. The spiral shaped koru design is derived from this unfolding silver fern frond. The circular movement towards an inner coil refers to ‘going back to the beginning’. The unfurling frond itself
KORU
is symbolic for new life, new beginnings, hope, perfection, rebirth, a new start, awakening, personal growth, purity, nurturing, a new phas.e (in life), the spirit of rejuvenation, and peace." Available from: http://www.tuarangi.com/meaning-of-maori-symbols-and-designs/
Just like the koru, I believe that it is essential that we stay connected with our roots. It is important to look back at home, or the places we grew. The only way we can move forward, is if we know where we're coming from. That is why in the process of self-identity, we remain to be acknowledging of our past experiences and how they've molded us. In my personal experience, I can say that living in the same old hometown, and going to the same old school, and doing the same old things has shown me that life is not always clockwork, but rather is transient.
HEI MATAU
"Originally the Maori have been fishermen. Their main food source was the sea so a fish hook of high quality was a valuable item to posses.
Worn around the neck the hook became a symbol of prosperity, abundance, good health, power, authority, and respect for the sea and its life in it.
It is also believed to provide good luck and safety while traveling over water. The Maori fish hook symbol refers to being dependent on the sea for their food gathering. The matau is a talisman for good luck." Available from: https://historyplex.com/maori-symbols
In the sea of life, we are faced with colossal waves, dangerous tides, and a multitude of obstacles. As they say, a smooth sea never made a skilled sailor. I believe that as we venture on our different seas, along the way we catch "fishes" that is equivalent to people or circumstances that teach us life lessons. As my pursuit for self-growth intensifies, I remain optimistic that I also wield my own hei matau or fish hook that not only provides luck as I travel, but more so a sign that I am always ready to catch my fishes and learn. I believe that being optimistic of what is to come and being ready for whatever it is the best way to immerse yourself in change and self-growth. That is why I hold my hei matau close to my heart, as a sign that I am ready to "kia tu kia mauia" or seize the day.
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PIKORUA
"Pikorua, as the Maori name this symbol, refers to eternal emerging paths in life. The eight-shaped single twist symbolizes the strength of the bond between two people, their loyalty and friendship. It signifies the spiritual merger of two people for eternity. Although people will take different paths in their lives they will always be connected and will return to each other.
The twist is a powerful statement of loyalty, friendship, and love.
Double and triple twist are also eternity symbols. The triple twist stands Refers to the bond between peoples, communities, or cultures rather than individuals.
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Traditionally given as an offering of friendship between different tribes.
Maori twist symbols also refer to the so called ‘three baskets of knowledge’. This is a concept that, very roughly translated, has to do with how, the for humankind necessary knowledge to survive, came to the world. According to the legend the god Tane (creator of the first man Tiki) brought down those three baskets from the heavens." Available from : http://www.tuarangi.com/meaning-of-maori-symbols-and-designs/
The Pikorua represents interconnectedness. In relation to the two symbols aforementioned above, I believe it also stands for balance. It is important that we remain ready for the future with our hei matau's (fish hooks) out, but it is also important that we keep our korus close to our hearts. Self is not defined only by one aspect and it is essential that we acknowledge not only what is to come but also what has already been.
To end, just like what the Maori says, " Ehara taku toa i te toa takitahi engara he toa takimano", which translates to my strength is not individual, but collective.
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WHERE I AM NOW
An excerpt from my ACET application essay
When I open my eyes, I see that everyone is still there, like they always would be. Even if I am hundreds of kilometers away from home. If I knew then what I know now, on how difficult and challenging my life in Ateneo can get, I’m more than convinced that I’d still choose this path. Ateneo so far, from my two years, has rendered and cultivated me into a person who will still rise up even at rock bottom, not because she knows she’s the best and can do everything well but because she knows that there is always room for improvement, for growth, and that is how she’ll rise back again. That is why when people back home would tell me how much I changed when I got into Ateneo, I smile, because I know that I’ve changed for the better. I may be like Belle, alike in her sense of adventure and passion for the great unknown, but I know that my happy ever after won’t just be a scene in a grand ballroom dancing to Tale As Old As Time. I know that my happy ever after is my pursuit for growth, because I know that I will always need improvement, that I will always be a work in progress; that my happy ever after isn’t just one scene, but rather a series of events. That’s how I would want to end my story, not with a period, but with a promise for more.
Me presently. Age 18. Freshman in Ateneo de Manila University, BS Health Sciences
ENTRY 8
To illustrate my own process of individuation, this entry will make use of Wonder Woman's journey as a benchmarker.
Wonder Woman has always been one of my favourite superheroes and one of the ideals I continue to admire. Seeing as to how some of the milestones in my mortal life mirror that of hers, I chose to input her leaving Themyscira and going to the world as a reflection of that of my individuation.
I. WONDER WOMAN LEARNING TO FIGHT AND WINNINGTHE TOURNAMENT
Diana, Wonder Woman, disobeying Queen Hippolyta, her mother, by secretly training to fight and then participating in the tournament despite her mother's wishes proves that she separated herself as the obedient kid her mother used to view her as.
I. CATH: MY LEAVING HOME
SEPARATION: Familiarity sometimes creates isolation. Growing up in the same old town and being bored of the same old clockwork of things has always made me dream of more. Just like Belle in Beauty and the Beast, I’ve wanted adventure in the great wide somewhere. Looking at my parents and seeing them routinely man the business and the farms has prompted me to do anything but that; and in a way separate myself with the familiar.
II. WONDER WOMAN LEAVING THEMYSCIRA
Wonder Woman leaving Themysicira and joining Steve Trevor, a man, shows how she asserts her own beliefs against that of the traditional viewpoints of the Amazonians.
II. CATH : CLASHING OPINIONS
This may sound twisted and backwards but due to the context of where I reside, in the northern provinces, where most of the population view Marcos as the hero sent by the gods who brought prosperity to the North and made it known to the whole country; it was hard not to believe it like gospel. Attending high school here, showed me that things are not always as they seem, and people who aren’t even heroes should not be worshipped as gods. As I try to convince my family of the truth of my newfound belief, I see myself standing up for my newly formed principles and independence.
III. WONDER WOMAN HEED'S HIPPOLYTA'S CALL
Due to Diana leaving Themyscira, it has caused a rift between the relationship of the mother and daughter. Due to this, there has been no contact between the two. One day, Diana receives a call from her mother. Although both have gone through a long time without talking, Diana accepts and goes back again. Here we can see how mutualism took place and how Diana learned to compromise.
iii. cath: understanding
There has been a multitude of times where I’ve despised my all too strict parents. When everything seemed off-limits and growth was scarce, I now see it as a showcase of their care for me. Witnessing my younger siblings grow up and mature, I can’t help but be overcome with protectiveness; not because I don’t want them to experience what the world has to offer, but rather because I don’t want them to end up getting hurt by it.
iv. wonder woman finding her way back home
In this part of Diana's journey, we see how she finally finds her way back not only to Themyscira or the Amazons, but most importantly--- her mother, Queen Hippolyta. She finally sees her not only as Queen, or Mother of the Amazons, or the First Amazon, but more so her own mother.
iV. cath: KNOWING
Noticing how my parents strictness seem to wither or weaken as I take on “independent living” in the metro, I see now that this freedom given to me entails a bigger responsibility. Even though I have all the means to go anywhere or do anything due to the lack of supervision, I see myself updating them constantly and doing what I know will make them proud. As a child, I’ve always viewed my parents as these almighty people who can do everything. The time came when I then saw them as authoritarian figures who seek to ban happiness and enjoyment. Now, however I see them as people like me. Whilst older than me, are also in the pursuit of self-growth. My parents would often tell me that since I was their first child, they’ve experimented different parenting styles on me, learned from their mistakes, and thus was the foundation of the parenting they now implement on my younger siblings. I see them more clearly now. Yes, to me they will always be almighty and can do everything in the sake for their children; but now I see that it’s their faults that make them almighty and human at the same time. I guess I can say that by helping “raise” my siblings, I appreciate them for always, always being the parents I need.
ENTRY 9
How to survive navigating through digital spaces, loosely inspired by Game of Thrones
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Digital spaces prove to be a confusing and complex maelstrom to explore, but as a centennial, here are some tips to make sure that you enjoy and make the most of what the digital space has to offer!
t i p #1 FROM SANSA
Everyone starts as a beginner! Whether what social media platform you are exploring, it is important to know that there are a lot of things to learn, and that it's alright to take a slow pace. As long as you're learning, it mean's there's improvement!
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I still remember making my own Facebook and being obsessed with several camera applications that alter colours, filters, and add effects to your pictures. Whilst having too much fun with taking several photos, I learned to adjust my privacy settings and limit my public details to only the people I know.
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Be like Sansa, L E A R N.
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t i p #2 FROM CERSEI
Acknowledge that having easy access to a platform where you can state your opinions, perspectives, and viewpoints, also entails a lot of responsibility.
Being granted the power to do so, one must ensure that the opinions being expressed aren't harmful and offensive to certain groups or minorities.
I remember having access to Memories on Facebook, where it shows you your previous posts from years ago, and I remember seeing posts I've made and shared that are very hypocritical of me, and potentially offensive . Hopefully, i am now more responsible of the things I post and aware the power of my words bring. In relation to the first tip, I learn as I go.
t i p #3 FROM TYRION
With the easily accessible platform, everyone, even those with clashing viewpoints, also have the power to reach you. Know that sometimes, trolls exist for the purpose of creating conflict and disagreement. Always remind yourself that beyond the virtual world of the digital space, exists the real word in real time.
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There will be potentially offensive comments and replies indirected or directed towards you. Just as Tyrion said, wear your armour.
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I still remember my very first "social media fight" over a disagreement on a One Direction issue. It has left me pondering and feeling heavy over it for days, but after that, I've realized that I've spent so much time feeling down over a person I did not even know. It's always important to know that not all opinions matter, you just have to toughen your skin because in the digital space, as the freedom of expression expands, room for hatred also grows. Wear your armour.
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t i p #4 FROM olenna
The digital space can surely be alluring, but it's important to sometimes take a break to stabilize your focus on things that really matter. To ensure healthy use of digital space, one must learn when to stop or take a break.
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In my experience, I make sure to take a one to two hour break every Sunday from social media. Albeit short, I'm working towards a longer and more refreshing social media cleanse
t i p #4 FROM Dany
In the end, the digital space allows for various expansion of experiences, with that it's important to acknowledge that whilst social media can be source of inspiration; it's also important to have room for individuality away from the potentially conforming nature of social media.
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Just like Daenerys, always be reminded of who you are--- in and out of digital spaces.
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With that, DRACARYS! Go forth and set the world on fire! Have fun using and navigating through the digital space but make sure that you keep in mind the aforementioned tips. Happy navigating!
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ADDITIONAL INFO: (based from homework)
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As all things, growing up in the digital age can prove to be a double edged sword that produces desirable and not so desirable effects. The adverse effects brought about by being closely related with the transient nature of technology are the following:
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1) It decreases face to face involvement and interaction.
By allowing oneself to dwell upon the digital world or the “cyberspace,” adolescents tend to become “prisoners of technology” by giving more importance in digital networking rather than real time interaction.
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2) Complications arise in forming cultural identity as globalization is more rampant
By involving oneself in the digital world, one tends to encounter situations wherein one is tempted to go along with digital trends and perspectives that could change one’s true identity.
3) Increases anonymity that leads to cyber bullying.
Through digital media and networking, one could create an anonymous digital footprint that could harm an individual both socially and emotionally. Socially in terms of creating such picture of him/her that is deemed undesirable by the public allowing it to affect his/her emotional stance of not being enough.
However, being closely connected to technology encompasses several benefits such as the following:
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1) Easier and more efficient way of communication.
Digital networking is without a doubt, a seamless way of communicating with others no matter the distance. With this advancement in technology, people from far away places could interact with their family members that reside even in the other end of the world.
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2) Increases range and scope of networking in terms of relationships and businesses.
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3) Opens forum for new insights, perspectives, and experiences of people from different backgrounds.
Compared to old media, that is only conveyed through television, newspapers and print ads; new media such as social media and websites could convey a less restricted and wider scope of perspectives regarding a certain issue. Through the forms of personal blogs and social media platforms such as Facebook, Twitter, and the like; people tend to become more open and outspoken in terms of their opinions and thoughts allowing others to have a much broader perspective and lens.
ENTRY 10
"Happily Ever After is so Once Upon a Time"
EXPLORING LOVE AND DATING IN THE WORLD TODAY
It's common knowledge that as time progresses, certain customs are also transformed. One of the most interesting changes that can be observed is how different generations perceive certain notions on love, dating, sex, and the like. Gone are the times when jousting tournaments were held to compete for a maiden's hand, or the ligaw culture would require the doing of chores and formal courting with the parentals.
Just like how technological advances has made everything so much easier, it seems that even the notion of love and dating has been made, more if not easy, efficientTo encapsulate and abridge how dating and the like work today, this blog post will use iconic millennial and centennial couples to provide a glimpse as to how one can navigate through the maelstrom we call love and dating in this generation!
1. lara jean song covey and peter kavinsky
This new It couple from the hit book series and now turned Netflix movie, "To All the Boys I've Loved Before" is taking the world's heart one letter at a time. To know more about the film, watch the trailer linked below: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mTLc_RzqaJc
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The advancement of technological platforms has prompted the rise of anonymity in the aforementioned platforms. The reason the whole story took place was because Lara Jean's letters got out. In relation to that with social media, it's important that users take accountability of their words instead of assuming an anonymous user and hiding behide it.
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"You might think, with all of this new technology allowing people to connect and stay in touch via websites, apps and texting, that communication about romantic expectations and assumptions might be better than ever. You’d be wrong. While these terms are widely used by this generation, they are still incredibly ambiguous, and different people have their own, different definitions. This often leads to total confusion and misunderstanding. (And that’s not even counting catfishing, the act of purposely misrepresenting yourself online in order to get attention, love, a cheap thrill, etc.)(Marcantonio, 2017)."
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ADVICE? Learn from Lara Jean, start your own love story by taking accountability and making everything transparent. You never know what stories your unsent letters may bring.
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"The whole dynamic of relationships (or, in this case, "situationships") seems to have shifted, primarily due to social media and technology. As this generation matured, so did technology, and that is clearly shown in the way we interact with people and the world around us. Perhaps the most interesting interaction between Generation Y and technology/social media is the validation many people seek from it. Many millennials seek approval from Twitter, Instagram, and the like. That is to say, their relationship isn’t really a relationship if their every move isn’t being snapped or tweeted. In addition to this, their relationship is only a relationship once they have crossed off every item on the checklist created by individuals who probably have a hard time getting dates in real life. The creation of social media hasn’t necessarily changed the mindsets of people, a lot of these views have been perpetuated for decades. What has changed, however, is the platform. People are now allowed to voice all of their outlandish opinions to the naïve, unsuspecting world (Harris, 2016)."
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Fake a relationship or resort to faking things in general. Although the story centered on the protagonists fake relationship, in real life and in real time, resorting to faking reality would cause more harm than good.
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ADVICE? BE TRANSPARENT. In real life, it's mainly you who has the power to send your unsent letters.
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2. ELLE WOODS AND EMMETT FORREST FROM LEGALLY BLONDE
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Date smart. Elle would never have met Emmett if she didn't set her priorities straight.
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"The challenge in today’s world is that we are all busy and pulled in every direction every day. And on top of that, we have a lot more choices than we used to. With the advent of technology, we can find people to go on dates with whom we would never have been able to meet 20 years ago unless we stood on a street corner with a sandwich board sign. So, in the midst of Tinder, Match, OKCupid, Farmers Only, Grindr, and others, the time-tested question of ‘is this the one?’ remains."
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With options made more clear and evident, be sure to pick the option or rather person that is right for you.
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Rush and try to conform and go along with the fast paced progress of modernization. Although relationships function in different paces, it's important to mark and know your own pace.
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"Dating is not easy for a Millennial. My advice: be open with yourself on what you’re looking for and how open you are to finding it. You know yourself best. Listen to what your head and heart says and you can’t go wrong(Dedor, 2018)."
3. TIANA AND NAVEEN FROM PRINCESS AND THE FROG
wHAT TO
DO
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One of the recurring arguments with millennials is how career plays a huge part in the love and dating life. Learn from Tiana that one must never lose sight of one's dream in looking for love. Love shouldn't be the end-game or the piece that would complete your puzzle, instead it should inspire you further. As is intimation, one should not lose one's individuality when in a relationship.
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Be like Tiana, get your dream AND get the prince.
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wHAT NOT TO
DO
"With our generation being so used to instant gratification, and used to being so easily accessible to each other, there’s a false sense of connection. I think the dating game is really isolating, even though [millennials] are immersed in so many different options. I think with my particular caseload, [men and women equally] want to have good-quality relationships, but don’t necessarily know how to find it. "
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In real life, frogs don't turn out to be princes. Distinguish your frog and your prince.
Since the author is not experienced enough or does not have any concrete examples as to how she's experienced the aforementioned, she decided to share a piece she found online that perfectly encapsulates her thoughts on love and dating in today's world.
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I used to think I was better than this, but I’ll admit that it’s so easy for me to have crushes on other people. Then again, it’s easy for anyone to have a crush on someone. Crushes are usually fleeting and superficial; I have crushes on dudes at the airport who are in a completely different gate from me, scrolling through their Instagram feeds that are undoubtedly full of butts. In the perfect environment, I imagine that I’m the quirky lead in a romantic comedy, and he’s the person I least expect; sparks fly as soon as we make eye contact, and after a series of dramatic conversations and declarations of love, we end up together when the credits roll.
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I’ll be dramatic for the hour or two I’m in the airport, but as soon as I board my plane, I’ll forget that that person even exists. He’ll meet his soulmate else – if he hasn’t met him or her already – and I’ll move on to other strangers whom I’ll never pursue due to my lack of trust and commitment to my career.
In the end, it was what it was.
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Crushes are simple, harmless, and fleeting. They don’t require anything else other than my eyes and my shallow perception of what I think is physically attractive. It’s easy to move past without any long-lasting repercussions.
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But sometimes I’ll meet someone – a friend of a friend, or someone I sat behind in history class – and I’ll run into him again and again, and I’ll keep running into him. I’ll think he’s cute, and find out that he’s sweet, funny, passionate about music or animals. Pretty soon, what I feel for him isn’t some fleeting emotion that’s going to leave as quickly as it came; it becomes something that I can’t really quite explain, not strong enough to be love, but. A Feeling.
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The problem with having A Feeling is that it grows, and I won’t realize that it’s growing until I’m bringing this person up for the millionth time to my friends. They love me too much to tell me to do this, but even my self-awareness and mild anxiety know that I need to just do something about it instead of lamenting about it to other people.
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If it were that easy for me to do, I’d definitely pursue something. If I were that confident and bulletproof, I would’ve asked this person out and not cared if he turned me down.
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The thing is, though, is that I’m not. In fact, I’m so scared of rejection and humiliation, and I’d much rather let my feelings slip by than ruin my present relationship with this person.
I’ll do anything to talk myself out of it. I’ll say that I’m not his type, and that he would never see me that way. At a certain point in my life, I started making two mental lists, based on my knowledge of this person: reasons why I think it’d work out, and reasons why I don’t think it’d work out. I consider all possibilities. We’d work out because we have the same sense of humor, or because we’re both passionate about the same Coen Brothers movie. We wouldn’t work out because I don’t think I’d mesh well with his friends, or I don’t think he’d mesh well with mine. He’d probably be freaked out that I’m a feminist, or that I can’t regularly clean my room, or that my anxiety and depression constantly make feel like I’m not me.
The more I talk myself out of it, the more I’d start to believe it. And just like that, That Feeling would be gone. I jokingly whine to my friends that I’m going to be alone for the rest of my life, but sometimes I let myself believe it because it’s a lot easier and less heartbreaking than having A Feeling.
LINKS AND WORKS CITED:
https://relevantmagazine.com/issues/issue-92/6-stages-every-millennial-relationship/
https://www.anthologyavenue.com/how-to-date-as-a-millennial/
ENTRY 10
MORE THAN JUST
SEX
dimensions of the gender spectrum: on body, identity, and expression
It's important for emerging adults to be knowledgeable and have the capacity to discuss gender and sexuality as not only is it a defining issue for most, but it's also a complex one as well. People who identify to be part of the LGBTQXYZ community often face discrimination, alienation, bullying, and even violence. It's important that emerging adults are aware of the repercussions and struggles the community face as soon the generation emerging adults are in will be mostly responsible of how the world works, and more importantly, how it treats people. Gender, sexuality, and the like can often be interchanged and thus can be a sensitive topic to most if not threaded with carefully. This blog entry aims to identify some concepts and raise awareness to the different dimensions of gender. This entry is based on of the research entry of Gender Spectrum available from: https://www.genderspectrum.org/quick-links/understanding-gender/
DIMENSIONS OF GENDER
1. b o d y
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" Most societies view sex as a binary concept, with two rigidly fixed options: male or female, both based on a person’s reproductive functions (genitals, sex chromosomes, gonads, hormones, reproductive structures). But a sex binary fails to capture even the biological aspect of gender. While most bodies have one of two forms of genitalia, which are classified as “female” or “male,” there are naturally occurring intersex conditions that demonstrate that sex exists across a continuum of possibilities. This biological spectrum by itself should be enough to dispel the simplistic notion of the “Gender binary”- there are not just two sexes.
The relationship between a person’s gender and their body goes beyond one’s reproductive functions. Research in neurology, endocrinology, and cellular biology points to a broader biological basis for an individual’s experience of gender. In fact, research increasingly points to our brains as playing a key role in how we each experience our gender.
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Bodies themselves are also gendered in the context of cultural expectations. Masculinity and femininity are equated with certain physical attributes, labelling us as more or less a man/woman based on the degree to which those attributes are present. This gendering of our bodies affects how we feel about ourselves and how others perceive and interact with us."
Male
WHAT IT'S NOT
Female
WHAT IT ACTUALLY IS
2. identity
"Gender identity is our internal experience and naming of our gender. A Cisgenderperson has a gender identity consistent with the sex they were assigned at birth. For example, a child whose sex was assigned male on their birth certificate and who identifies as a boy is cisgender (you may hear this term shortened to “cis”). A Transgender person has a gender identity that does not match the sex they were assigned at birth. So, a child who was assigned male on their birth certificate and who identifies as a girl is transgender (sometimes this term is shortened to “trans”).
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The two most common gender identities are boy and girl (or man and woman), and often people think that these are the only two gender identities. This idea that there are only two genders is called the “gender binary.” If a child has a binary gender identity, that means they identify as either a boy or a girl, regardless of the sex they were assigned at birth.
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But gender is a spectrum, and not limited to just two possibilities. A child may have a Non-binary gender identity, meaning they do not identify strictly as a boy or a girl – they could identify as both, or neither, or as another gender entirely. Agender people do not identify with any gender.
Understanding of our gender comes to most of us fairly early in life. According to the American Academy of Pediatrics, “By age four, most children have a stable sense of their gender identity.” This core aspect of one’s identity comes from within each of us; it is an inherent aspect of a person’s make-up. Individuals do not choose their gender, nor can they be made to change it, though the words someone uses to communicate their gender identity may change over time (e.g., from one non-binary identity to a different non-binary identity). Naming our gender can be a complex and evolving matter. Because we are provided with limited language for gender, it may take a person quite some time to discover, or create, the language that best communicates their gender.
Descriptors for gender identities are rapidly expanding; youth and young adults today no longer feel bound to identify strictly with one of two genders, but are instead establishing a growing vocabulary for gender. More than just a series of new words, however, this shift in language represents a far more nuanced understanding of the experience of gender itself. The 2015 Fusion “Millennial Poll” (“millennial” defined as individuals aged 18-34) revealed that more see gender as a spectrum than as a binary. Other research indicates that today’s teens are even likelier to see identity as a spectrum. There is a generational divide in our fundamental understandings of gender and how we think about this aspect of who we are."
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Cis
Trans
it's not limited to
and is actually inclusive to
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3. expression
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The third dimension of gender is Gender expression, which is the way we show our gender to the world around us (through such things as clothing, hairstyles, and mannerisms, to name a few). Practically everything is assigned a gender—toys, colors, clothes, and activities are some of the more obvious examples. Given the prevalence of the gender binary, children face great pressure to express their gender within narrow, stereotypical definitions of “boy” or “girl.” Expectations around expression are taught to us from the moment we are born, and communicated through every aspect of our lives, including family, culture, peers, schools, community, media, and religion. Accepted gender roles and expectations are so entrenched in our culture that most people cannot imagine any other way.
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Through a combination of social conditioning and personal preference, by age three most children prefer activities and exhibit behaviors typically associated with their sex. For individuals who fit fairly neatly into expected gender roles and expression, there may be little cause to think about, or question, their gender, or how gender is created, communicated, and reinforced in our lives. However, children who express gender in ways that are perceived to be outside of these social norms often have a very different experience. Girls thought to be too masculine (especially as they move into their teens) and boys seen as feminine (at any age) face a variety of challenges. Pressures to conform at home, mistreatment by peers in school, and condemnation by the broader society are just some of the difficulties facing a child whose expression does not fall into line with the binary gender system. For many young people, whether typical in their presentation or not, expression is the most tangible aspect of their gender experience, impacting them in many, if not all, of their interactions with others.
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Norms around gender expression change across societies and over time. One need only consider men wearing earrings or women having tattoos to see the flexibility of social expectations about gender. Even the seemingly intractable notion that “pink is for girls, blue is for boys” is relatively new. Prior to the mid-twentieth century, pink was associated with boys’ clothing and blue with girls’ clothing (still due to the gendering of colors, but with a different rationale associating each color with particular gendered characteristics).
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Because expectations around gender expression are so rigid, we frequently assume that what someone wears, or how they move, talk, or express themselves, tells us something about their gender identity. But expression is distinct from identity -we can’t assume a person’s gender identity based on their gender expression. For example, a cisgender boy may like to wear skirts or dresses. His choice in clothing doesn’t change his gender identity; it simply means that he prefers (at least some of the time) to wear clothing that society typically associates with girls.
Boy
Girl
MORE
than just this.
In the end, it all boils down to understanding and remembering to treat people with kindness.
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"Gender diversity has existed throughout history and all over the world. One of the most fundamental aspects of a person’s identity, gender deeply influences every part of one’s life. Where this crucial aspect of self is narrowly defined and rigidly enforced, individuals who exist outside of its norms face innumerable challenges. Even those who vary only slightly from the norm can become targets of disapproval.
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This does not have to be the case. Through a thoughtful consideration of the uniqueness and validity of every person’s experiences of self, we can develop greater acceptance for all. Not only will this create greater inclusion for individuals who challenge the norms of gender, it will create space for all individuals to more fully explore and celebrate who they are."
Using one of the most popular medium today, a series of meme to celebrate queer pride will be posted below. Original content is from Buzzfeed. Link:
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